It Snowed!!!

I know that eventually I'll complain about it, but you can't complain about the first snow of the season! It's so nice to wake up and see a nice dusting of snow on the ground. There's something magical about it, I think.

I have no idea how long the snow will be here, but it's so pretty!!! It make me smile and totally made my day.

Oh, my aching feet

Mom and I just completed a morning full of Christmas shopping...

It was great.

It was crowded.

It was intense.

It was successful.

And now I am exhausted!

But I am almost done with my shopping! Which is good, considering that pretty soon I get to help Dad with his shopping for Mom, and I like to have mine done before that so we're only focusing on him.

I think I should start buying in March. That would make things much simpler.

GREAT NEWS!!!!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Christmas blog post for this breaking announcement.
I PASSED MY BOC EXAM!!!!!
For those of you who don't know, the BOC exam is the Board of Certification exam that all athletic trainers must take in order to be certified. This was my fourth time taking it and frankly, I didn't know if I could do it. BUT I DID!!!
I want to thank my family for supporting me and praying for me and believing in me, especially when I didn't believe in myself. I want to thank my friends who encouraged me, my teachers who taught me, and my mentors who thought I deserved this.
Most of all, I need to thank the Lord because quite honestly, I could NOT have done this without Him. I'm not even sure how I did it, but I know He had a LOT to do with it.
So now I'm CERTIFIED!!! Not certifiable [you meanies], but certified. So now after my name it will read: ATC, LMT.
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tomorrow we will return to your regular program. Have a nice day.

It's up!

We put our tree up last night!!!!! It took some manuevering, getting all of the furniture in the right place so that the TV was still visible and that everyone would have a good seat at Christmas. But it is up. It's not decorate yet, but it is up and watered and starting to fill out after it's day of bondage.
And the whole family room smells AMAZING!!!!!

O Christmas Tree...

We got our tree last night. It was awesome! Granted, we went to Lowe's and picked out one there, but I LOVE the whole process of picking out the perfect tree for our Christmas. Dad and I have very strict regulations. We're practically Christmas Tree police. It has to be tall, very few, if any, bare spots, full the whole length of the tree, and fat. Yes, fat. Our tree this year is PERFECT.

For those of you who haven't guessed, yes, we still get real trees. Fraser Firs, to be exact. And I have no doubt that we will continue to get real trees until our dying days. I intend to have a real tree forever. They smell SOOOOOOO good and look so pretty. So what if there are pine needles on the floor? Get a vaccuum! So what if you have to water it all the time? IT'S WORTH IT. So worth it, in fact, that I never complain about it.

And I was so happy to get our tree that I actually hugged it. When it was all bound up and in our garage, I gave the tree a big hug. Hey, it's a living thing....sort of.... And when I got home from class last night, I totally planted my face in the tree and inhaled....

If you could get high off of Christmas trees, I might be in trouble.

Anyway, we're probably putting it up tonight, and it will be decorated shortly thereafter. Christmas is awesome, isn't it? I love the traditions of it. Even if I hate a few of the ornaments that have to go on the tree every year...

HAPPY DECEMBER!!!

I don't know when the tradition started, but every time it's a new month, in my family we wish each other a Happy Whatever month it is. If it was a really special month, sometimes we got goodies for it. But I like this tradition. It makes each new month seem like a celebration, which I think all new months should be. It makes us have another day where we can be happy that it is that day, if that makes sense.

December is the greatest month of all. No, really, it is. My birthday is in a week and Christmas is in three and a half. But the entire month of December is one of continual excitement and joy, regardless of whatever we are going through. The Christmas season is one of hope and peace. It really doesn't matter what we get anyone for Christmas or what we receive from anyone or what goodies we are given. What matters is focusing on what DOES matter: family, friends, religion. The things that bring us the most joy in life are not things at all.

Now I'm all for things, though. I love Christmas lights, Christmas cards, Christmas trees, Christmas music, Christmas wrapping paper, Christmas commercials... You could say that I'm a Christmas junkie. I get so excited about the whole thing. It's a special and magical time of year!

HAPPY DECEMBER, EVERYBODY!!! GET EXCITED!!! IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS!!!

My Room

I thought that today could use a special blog post that I have been wanting to talk about for a few weeks. My room. I know, I know, you all were looking forward to my Christmas posts. But I'm listening to Christmas music while I write this, so it counts for me!
Ok, so my room. I had this room when we first moved into this house. When I went off to college, Jenny took it over, painted it, and made it her own. I inherited her old room with significantly less room and even less closet space. Very nice. Actually, it didn't matter too much as I was only home for a week at a time. But when I moved back here this year, it became obvious that the smaller room was not going to do. So I took my room over again. We rearranged all of the furniture and totally changed the look of the room, and now it is starting to feel like my own room again.
In one corner, we have the night stand that has been in our family since it started. In another corner, my lotion collection, box of textbooks, and other randomness. In the last available corner [the fourth is where the door is], my DVD collection, which is kinda huge. My desk rests against one wall, my bookshelf another, my bed the third, and the fourth and longest wall....well, that's my dresser...and my massive pile of randomness that includes a big bag of plastic bags, my Christmas bin, and Christmas presents that don't require hiding in my closet.
On my desk, there is a very nice collection of random papers. I have no idea what some of these are. On top there is usually pictures....yeah, they're just frames at the moment.
On my walls...My name painted in tropical letters that I got from Sea World when I was 10, a plaque from my volunteering days at the hospital that says "Live Simply, Laugh Often, Love Deeply", my painting from Paris, and my new wooden plaque thing from the Saurkraut Fest that says "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass...It's about learning to dance in the rain."
My closet....maybe we won't go there. It's crowded...but not with clothes. With stuff. And a few Christmas presents.
My favorite part of my room, I think, is my headboard. It's a book shelf. Yes, now I have books within six inches of my head while I sleep. PERFECT!
Oh, and the walls of my room are blue. Jenny picked it out. It used to look like I was underwater in a pool, but now it's just my room.
So now you know. Hope you feel empowered.
What does my room say about me? What does YOUR room say about you?

My Mommy

As you can see, I have updated my blog design to reflect the season. It is officially Christmas time and I am STOKED.
But today is not about Christmas [don't worry, every other day probably will be]. Today is about my mom. It's her birthday today and I am so grateful for her!
Ever since I can remember, my mom has been exactly the same: patient, caring, strong, and cheerful. I can count on one hand the number of times she has been grouchy or sad. She's always doing something for someone else, whether it's making dinner for all of us, baking cookies for friends, sewing pillowcases for the holidays, or preparing lessons for seminary.
She's a motivator. She has always been there for us to turn to when we think we can't do it any more and tells us that it's ok, we can go just a little further. She has so much faith that it's difficult to doubt when she tells you that you can do it.
She never thinks of herself at all. Everything is about other people. She will wear herself out doing things that 'need to get done' and then, after all of that, MAYBE she'll sit down with hot chocolate. Maybe. She'll probably remember something else during that.
She's a new grandma and she's loving it. She's so good with Carly and with helping out C and E whenever she's there. It makes me happy and I know that when I have children, they'll have a grandma that adores them and spoils them just like a grandma should.
I love my mom. I don't think there is a better mom in all the world. There certainly isn't a better one for me. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOMMY!

Rolls....

Today I am grateful [VERY grateful] for my mom's homemade rolls. We're getting ready to make some for Thanksgiving on Thursday, and I am SOOOOOOOO excited. These rolls are the greatest thing EVER. There isn't even something to compare it to, they are so good. It's like love, peace, happiness, and joy all baked into this little piece of breaded heaven and when you have one...you are never the same.
We only get Weesa Rolls, as they are affectionately called, on special occasions. Literally, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Bonus points for Christmas when half of the dough is turned into cinnamon rolls, which will not be discussed at this time because I refuse to drool on my computer. But the rolls..... Ugh, I am dreading baking them today because I love the smell so much and I can't have any until Thanksgiving...
Blessed be the rolls my mama creates. If you could bake your way to heaven, she'd be there and back and there again.

Last week

Whew, I am glad that week is over! I didn't post anything, I know, but I can hoenstly tell you that it was the week from HECK. Now, part of it was good [the last few days were actually pretty dang awesome] but I went through some CRAP before that. But suffice it to say that it is over, my athletic training test is over, and my brain seems to be back on track.
Last week, I was grateful for the following things, in no particular order:
- My family, who have always been there to lift me up and support me no matter how unbalanced I seem
- Warm sun and cool breezes that remind me to take slow deep breaths and relax
- A good friend who helps you through tough times just by being there
- A job that I love and keeps me busy and makes me happy to do what I do
- General Conference talks that seem to find the little things you need to know and show you just how simple it can be to understand
- Good movies that uplift and inspire and help you to step back and look at the big picture
- The Lord. Honestly, I couldn't have done any of this week without Him.

Anyway, today I am grateful for health. I've been feeling a bit crummy over the last month or so, and I think it just might be over. I've learned that it is entirely possible to get everything you need to accomplished even if you don't feel like it with a little faith and prayer. Just because you don't feel good doesn't mean you have to feel bad. And smile through it. A smile goes a long way towards healing whatever ails you.
And by the way, I saw New Moon on opening night. FANTASTIC. Go see it.

Church

Today I am grateful for Church.
I know, I know, it's Sunday, and we're all grateful for Church on Sunday.
But I mean it.
I felt so tired this morning and I was not in the mood to go to Church AT ALL. I just wanted to stay in bed. But I knew that I had to go cuz I'm in charge of some things soon, so I had to talk to people, and I had an activities committee meeting after....
So I went.
And I'm so glad I did. Less than halfway through the first hour, I felt fine again. I was happy, I was awake, and I was at peace. It felt wonderful to be there. And now I feel so rejuvenated and I know I can make it through this next week.
Whatever Church you go to, be grateful for it. I am a firm believer that solid activity in religion makes us better people, is good for our health, and especially good for our souls.
GO TO CHURCH!!!! You won't regret it, I promise.

Bagels

Today I am grateful for bagels. My parents had a dinner group at our house last night and they opted to have soup and breadbowls, compliments of Panera. And because my mommy loves me so much, she bought some bagels so that I could have one at breakfast today.

And it was sooooooooooooo good. Cinnamon crunch...YUM!

But let's think honestly...bagels are great! I spent four years of my life having bagels for breakfast for at least half of the school year. Bagels and strawberry cream cheese...in the middle of seminary....after having morning swim practice... But who invented the bagel? Who thought "Let's make a doughnut that's more bread than cake, slice it in half, and put this cheesy substance on it!"? They should win an award. I mean, the entire existence of a number of bread places would be seriously hindered if there were no bagels.

Bagels...amazing. I'm grateful for them. Who knows what I might have been forced to eat if they didn't exist.

Children

Today I am grateful for children. Odd, I know, considering I have none, but let me explain what I mean.
1) My neice was born three months ago this week. I realize I already said I was grateful for Carly, but we'll spend a few moments here anyway. Since Carly has been born, my whole family has been changed. I've seen my parents morph into grandparents [and they were very happy to do so]. I've watched as my brother and his wife have become real life adults and are now parents. And my sisters and I have become aunts...which we LOVE. And watching Carly grow is amazing and I love it.
2) My main reason for being grateful for children today is this one. The innocence of children. My mom and I took two little girls to the local high school play last night. It was CSI Neverland. It was a pretty cute show, but I was more entertained watching the girls watch the play than me watching it myself. They were literally on the edge of their seats. If they could have gone closer, they so would have. They were entraced. They laughed at everything and they shouted when Tinkerbelle asked the audience to say they did believe in fairies. It was adaorable.
And with Christmas coming, children are even more adorable to watch. The Christmas commercials that make me cry the most are those involving children. Walmart has a good one out where a kid wishes for snow for his dad for Christmas...and his dad is in Iraq or Afghanistan and it actually snows. Macy's has one about a girl delivering her letter to Santa, and it has that famous "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" quote going. I don't know why, but I love them and I tear up every time.
I'm grateful for children. I hope someday I get to have some of my own. But this Thanksgiving and holiday season, watch the children. You might learn something.

Frost...

Today I'm grateful for frost.

"How bizarre..." you say to yourself. "What is this girl on, really?"

But truly, I'm fine. And I'm entirely serious.

One of my favorite things of the fall/early winter is waking up to find a frost on the ground. One, it means it was cold enough during the night that the precipitation froze, which just tickles me because I like cold. I know, I'm sick. Two, it makes everything look so dang cool! And when the sun hits the frosted ground, a kind of mist rises and it gives the appearance of mystery and enchantedness to the whole area, which is also really dang cool. And three, frost is not snow. Now, I love snow. I just hate driving in snow. With frost we get the beauty of snow, sort of, and none of the badness of snow. It's a win-win, right?

I love what frost does to the grass and the leaves and yes, even car windows. When I woke up a few minutes ago and looked out side, saw that it was sunny and there was a frost on the ground, I grinned to myself and said to my dog Sam, "And frost, too? We're just winning all over the place today, Sam!" She wagged her tail in response, so she must like frost too.

Sadly, however, frost will not stay long. So you have to be an early enough riser to be able to witness it, but don't worry. It's worth the sacrifice of sleep.

I'm grateful for frost, people. And so should you be!

Fuzzy socks

Today I'm grateful for fuzzy socks. I know, I know, that's silly, but I can assure you that not all socks are created equal, oh no. Regular socks get the job done, but do they give you any happiness? And regular socks are totally different than holiday socks, which always make people happy, so don't even try to go there.

No, no, fuzzy socks are the epitome of great sock-ness. They're warm, soft, comfortable, and even when they sometimes slide so that the heel is actually on top of your foot, you can still wear them comfortable and not even care that it's backwards now. I don't remember when I was first indtroduced to the fuzzy sock... It must have been a Christmas, because I am fairly certain that it was my grandmother, a saint among women and all people, who included my first pair of fuzzy socks in one of her Never-Ending Presents. Yes, Never Ending. She's a regular Willy Wonka of Christmas. A box that can be used for many different things is stuffed with smaller gifts, all wrapped indivdually, and of varying topics. Jewelry, books, nail files, pouches, bookmarks, etc... And one year, socks. But not just any old sock, oh no. [althoguh she has done that as well...] These were FUZZY SOCKS!

And I was never the same. Winter just isn't winter without the comfort of fuzzy socks after a long day. Sitting on the couch with your hot chocolate, blanket, and fuzzy socks...life doesn't get any better than that.

Unless there is a lit up Christmas tree in the room, too, in which case, congratulations, you have reached the height of happiness. You can die in peace.

Now go out and get yourself some fuzzy socks! I mean, money can't really buy you happiness, right? But hey, if you buy fuzzy socks, you can get dang close!

Yesterday and Today

I realized about half way through yesterday that I didn't say what I was grateful for on THAT day in the midst of catching up on all the other days! I felt really stupid for about three seconds, and then I shrugged it off, cuz honestly, who is reading this anyway? This is more of a project for me than anything to post out in cyber-space.
Yesterday I was grateful for good flavored toothpaste. It sounds silly, but when you have to spend a few days using toothpaste that gets the job done, but leaves a taste in your mouth that almost makes you wish it didn't so that you could skip it all together, getting a toothpaste that is refreshing is pretty much the best thing ever. My curent preference is Crest Whitening with Scope, the Minty Fresh Striped version. No idea why, but it makes my teeth [and the rest of my mouth] very happy. Maybe I should be grateful for the bad tasting one, too, because otherwise I might not realize how great my normal toothpaste is!
Today I'm grateful for my dog Sammie. I spend much of my day in the quiet of my house and Sammie is always there for me to talk to and she'll just look up at me and wag her tail like it made her happy just to see me. And when I accidently trip over something in the dark on my way back from the bathroom in the middle of the night and step on her tail, she still likes me and waits for me to pet her. Yeah...she's a good dog.

Weekend Wrap-up

I went to Tennessee this weekend to watch my sister swim and to visit my brother's family, so I couldn't do my grateful posts until today, so let's do that wrap up now, shall we?
Friday I was grateful for pillows. See, when we go to Tennessee, my parents like to go early in the morning so that we have more time when we get there. This time we left at 6 am, which was later than the last time we went. I basically rolled out of bed, threw on some normal-ish looking clothes, and promptly fell asleep in the car. I was very grateful for my pillow because when you are jammed in the back seat of the car and only half awake, a pillow makes the whole thing a lot less painful. It was almost really comfortable!
Saturday I was grateful for my niece Carly. I love that baby girl to pieces! She is so stinkin' cute and learning so much so quickly! We [my mom and I] got her to roll over twice when we baby sat that night and almost made her laugh [she's not quite doing that yet]. She has this huge grin that she only gives out once in a while and there is nothing like it! Just holding her and playing with her made my night and I would gladly do it any time!
Sunday I was grateful for music. Again with the long car ride, and I'm grateful I had my ipod because it made the trip go faster and not seem like such a bad thing. Now, I'll be even more grateful when I can start playing Christmas music because that is one of my all time favorite things in the whole world, but for the time being, regular music is pretty dang good as well.
So that's what I was grateful for over the weekend. It was a pretty fun weekend, too, and I'm really glad we did it. Now it's back to the grind and time to work hard until Thanksgiving...when I get to go back!

Sunshine and Sarah

Today I'm grateful for sunshine. I can hardly think of a better way to wake up than to have the sun shining brightly through the trees and giving everything that warm golden glow. It made me smile just coming out of the bedroom and seeing how bright and sunny it was outside. And when the colors of fall are as beautiful as they are now, the bright sun makes them even more colorful and happy, and when the sky is the bright blue that it is.... Ugh, these are my favorite types of days. Bright, sunny fall days when it's cool, but the sun makes you warm anyway.

But even when it's not fall, the sunshine makes me happy. I adore those cold winter days when the sun is out and everything snow covered just shimmers in the sunlight. In the spring, the sunny days are perfect. In summer....well, it depends on the temperature, but most of the time, the sunshine makes the day wonderful.

I'm grateful for sunshine! I think I'll take a long walk today because of it.

~~~~~~~~

In other, more important news, it is my sister Sarah's birthday today!!! She's 22, and can I just say that it is so weird to have a younger sibling who is 22? But anyway...

Sarah is a very funny person. She has made our family laugh pretty much since the day she was born. I don't remember her back then, but we have her on video as a baby and we all love watching her in those days. Whether it's slapping her self in the eye with a towel or making strange noises or just making funny faces, she manages to brighten up every moment.

She was such a beautiful baby. In fact, our mother has commented that she was the prettiest, and none of us argue the fact. She has always had big beautiful eyes and a big smile. She's grown up into a beautiful lady, and I'm so happy she's my sister! She's been a great example to me and I am grateful that she was born today.

I love you, Sarah! Happy Birthday!

Heaters

Today it's gonna be short, but that's ok.
I'm grateful for heaters. You know, the vents in the house? And when it's cold outside, the vents magically give off warmth at certain times. And if you're lucky, you can be there when it starts. The best thing is getting a blanket and laying down with your feet on the heater vent and tucking your feet into the blanket and then enjoying the warmth that travels up the length of you.
Truly glorious, and I am truly grateful.

My Robe

My sister has decided that she is going to be specifically grateful for something every day of this month. I thought that was a good idea, and so I'm going to do that too.

Today I am grateful for my bathrobe. It was a Christmas present from my uncle Mike and aunt Audrey last year [officially, I think it was from one of their kids, but we all know who buys our presents, right?], and it is one of the most wonderful things I own. It's blue and soft and fuzzy, and on cold mornings like this one, it is the perfect thing to throw on for a few hours.

I've had robes before, but they weren't very good. This one is a masterpiece. It's made by Capelli New York and while I have no idea what that means, I am very VERY grateful for it. There's just something about stepping out of the shower and toweling off and then putting on a warm, soft robe that stops your shivers and goosebumps and makes you sigh in relief.

In this robe, I eat breakfast, drink hot chocolate, walk around in my slippers... I told you, I love it! I recommend it to any woman who likes robes, who likes fuzzy things, and who likes being warm and cozy.

Thank you, Mike and Audrey and whichever cousin officially gave it to me. Thank you, Capelli New York. Thank you, genius who decided that robes should be invented.

November!

November is here! And because of that, I feel like I should post...
The first day of November, yesterday, was awesome. It started with a frost. That just makes me happy. I love frost. It's so pretty!!! Then, as if the first three minutes of my being awake couldn't get better, the heater was on. Let me explain something to you: I am the sort of person that LOVES having the heater on. I take blankets and go sit on the heater and get warm. I have always been that way and I'm pretty sure that I always will be. I LOVE heaters!
Anyway, then we had stake conference, which was FABULOUS. Best stake conference ever, I have no doubt. Then we went to some friends for dinner, and then came home and went for a walk, and it was a BEAUTIFUL day. Perfect walk weather.
And then...THEN.....as if the day couldn't be MORE better, there was a CES fireside with President Uchtdorf, whom I LOVE. He was funny, he was direct, and the Spirit was SO strong. It was the best CES fireside I have ever seen. I can't wait for the text to become available so I can read it again!
Anyway, that was just yesterday! I have no expectations of today, but what a way to begin a month! And November is so much fun already. I mean, I get to see New Moon in a few weeks, and I get to see Carly TWICE this month, it's Sarah's birthday THIS WEEK, and we get Thanksgiving and the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade [don't get me started, I LOVE that parade], and then it's my mommy's birthday, and somewhere around there we get our CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!
November is wonderful. It's brisk and cool and there is so much excitement as Thanksgiving and Christmas approach, and holiday shopping gets under way.....
Honestly, who doesn't love this month?

A Little Bit of Crazy

I actually have a moment to breathe right now, so I'll enlighten you all on what has been going on.
Last weekend, I drove down to Waynesville, OH for the Saurkraut Festival. It's a HUGE two day event involving lots of adorable craft booths, beautiful paintings, and, yes, saurkraut. Lots and lots of saurkraut. I worked with my friends Lorrie, Susan, Alex, and Sherri at the booth for Mistletoe Memories, a company that makes handmade ornaments for Christmas and then we personalize them right there at the booth, and they are SOOOO cute! We've gotten one every year in my family. They are awesome! Look it up at mistletoememories.com.
Anywho, we set up on Friday, worked from 7:30 in the morning (a very COLD 7:30, I might add) til about 8:00 that night, then ran to Olive Garden, as is our tradition, and got take out, thanks to the many teenagers that had decided to patronize it for their homecoming meal. We were exhausted, drained, and very VERY happy to find our beds that night. Sunday was shorter -- only 8:00 to 6:00. Then we closed up shop, packed everything into our two mini-vans, and headed back to Indiana. I got in at about 11:30. Needless to say, I collapsed into bed.
The rest of the week was mostly uneventful, just working and studying.
Thursday I got into my little car, drove 6 and a half hours to Kirksville, MO, and have been staying with my former college roommate Stephanie, now going to med school and well on her way to becoming a doctor. We've been having a splendid time and it's been really fun getting back to old times.
But when I come back on Monday, it will be back to the grind. There is work to be done!
In other news, my darling neice is growing every week. I haven't seen her in a long time, and she's not my snuggly little newborn any more. Now she's ...well,...more of a baby, I suppose. She's almost 10 weeks old, and I'll get to see her at the end of the month, and I am so excited!!!!
So that's my life at the moment. Some work, some fun, some more work, and some more fun!

Oops

Ok, so maybe I shouldn't try to understand things at 3 in the morning.

I only missed finalling by 25 points. Still, it's a chunk, but it is a right sight better than 40!

Still a bit down, but I can find some comfort food, and we'll take care of that.

A Moment of Pity

It is very late at night, and I am exhausted, but I just got an email about the results of a contest...
I didn't final. I was about 40 points from finalling.
40. That's a lot.
I love my manuscript, and I worked hard to get it as good as I could before sending it in. Yet they found so many things they didn't like.
I feel crushed, at the moment, but it'll pass, I'm sure, and I'll look more deeply at what they said and work it through AGAIN. But one of the judges was published...and she hated it.
One judge loved it. She gave me a REALLY good score.
The other was half and half. She was the most helpful.
I know that tastes are different, but how different? I know I need to just believe in myself and in my work, but when no one else does, it is hard to.

Moment of pity, please, because right now, I need it.

Me and My Movies

I have a problem. [And everyone always says that admitting it is the hardest part, so I'm doing good.] I am addicted to movies. I dream in movie form, I write in movie form, I quote movies [and DANG WELL, if I might be so bold], and I posess the ability to replay entire scenes, and in some cases entire movies, all from the comfort of my head. [No comments about a psych ward, please.]

And I'm not picky, either. I love the basic chick flicks and have an absurd fixation on Regency England films. I love WWII movies. I love sports movies. I love old classics. I love big action movies. I love romantic comedies. I love Disney. I love mysteries. I love the mini series. I love musicals. I love the epic adventure. I love the movies based on historical events.

Confused and astounded? Try living in my head!

But each of the movies I adore so much have their rightful place. I am one of those people that has to have something going on while studying or writing or just plan old cleaning. In cases like those, a movie that I know well enough that I don't have to watch to know what is happening is my choice. If studying, something gentle, say Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, and Alan Rickman is a good choice. If writing, Pride and Prejudice with Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle is a favorite, but any romantic movie will do. If cleaning,...well, the spectrum is a bit broader there.

As you all know, I live with my parents right now. They have LOTS of movies. It's great. But I still buy the movies I want for myself because I know I won't live with them forever and I need my movies when I move! It's quite funny, actually.

I didn't know that my tastes were so vast until someone mentioned it to me. Apparently, it's impressive. I don't know about that, but the fact is, plain and simple, I love movies.

I love the story in movies, seeing the change in the characters, the challenges they must face to get to the resolution, and how they get from point A to point Q, so to speak. It's like watching a book....but the addition of special effects and music brings it so much life!

TANGENT ALERT: The music in movies...ugh, I love the music in movies. It sets the stage so well, capturing the emotions of everybody in the movie and out, making us all feel what they feel. As you all know, I cry in movies all the time. My sisters have confessed to placing bets on it. But what some people don't know is that often, it is the combination of story and music that sets me off. If it was just the story or just the music, I might [and I emphasize MIGHT because, hey, you never know] not cry at all. I am a sucker for soundtracks and I adore setting soundtracks for my own books so that I can try to put more of the magic I feel in movies into my pages.

AND NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG POST...

So yeah, I love movies. Going to the movie rental place is like visiting a treasure room. I have to prepare myself before going, or I will rent 20. Going to the library is a little better and a little worse. Better because there is not as much of a selection as the movie rental place. Worse because they are free....

Going to movies....Oh my gosh, I ADORE going to movies. I love the darkened room with the comfy seats. I love the popcorn [....ok, I REALLY love the popcorn, let's be honest] and the candy and the drinks. I love the surround sound. I LOVE IT. And the midnight showing of the opening night is THE BEST because NO ONE has seen it!!!

In college, there was a dollar theater that played movies a few weeks after they hit the regular ones. That was a dangerous place for me. I'll see just about anything for $1. If it was a terrible movie, at least I had popcorn! If it was great, AWESOME!

Another funny quirk is that I have no favorites. I mean, I do, but I don't. I do not have one absolute favorite movie. I can't! There's too many! I can give you a top five...per genre... Oh, sure, if you ask me which one movie I would take on desert island, I'd tell you, but why would a desert island have electricity and a DVD player???

But yeah, there's no telling what movie I will like and not like. People try and guess, but it seems that only I really know...

What Makes Us Who We Are?

What differentiates us from each other? Why do I cry all the time, but my best friend hardly ever does? Why do some people get mad quickly and others never seem to? What makes some people eat when they're stressed instead of smashing something like others? Why do some people have a guilty conscience and others have none? Why are some people so amazingly spiritual and others just...there? Why are some people brave while others cower in fear? Why is one person kind and sweet and bubbly while the other is cruel and bitter and harsh? Why do some like rock music and others like opera? Why chocolate instead of fruity?
Are we all really so very different? What MAKES us that way?
I was hanging out with a friend the other night and we have known each other for years. But we got into some deep conversation and we discovered that we are very much alike. Not in obvious ways that everyone can see, but in ways that only we can see, things we don't share with other people. It took one of us trusting the other and letting out some deep things, and suddenly the other was taking a hand and saying, "Seriously? That's me, too." And we kept going, and we kept finding things that we had in common.
But anyone looking at us would not see them.
So it made me curious...how many other people are really like me on the deep inside, but I can't see it? How many people are the exact opposite in truth?
I don't know. I guess I'll have to start digging, huh?
What do you think? What makes us who we are?

Life

This week I have been reminded of how short life is. A woman who I knew when I was a young teenager and whose mother is good friends with mine passed away on Wednesday after battling AML Leukemia. She had been doing so well, amazing, really, considering she was carrying her fourth child when diagnosed and delivered him healthy and strong, and for the past 10 months has been fighting so hard. But because of the weakness of her body, she was susceptible to infection, which is what brought her to the end of her life. She leaves her husband and four young children behind, the oldest is maybe 6.
It does not seem fair to have someone so young be taken. She was a wonderful mother and the rock in her extended family. She was an example to us all, and a friend to everyone. There was so much for her to do still, the least of which would be raising those children, giving them memories of their mother and teachings to live by. But my worrying self cannot help but feel anxious for her husband. How can he support and raise four children without her?
Needless to say, I cried for a while when I found out. I know that families are eternal and transcend the grave, but the pain is still there. Comfort is to be found, yes, but the hurt is not gone. Not when it's like this.
I am learning that God knows what He is doing, that we need to trust in Him. We won't understand all the time, and sometimes it will seem like we never do, but if we have faith that God's will is being done, we may have enough of a measure of peace that we can get through.
This life is short. Let us fill it when the best things, so that when it is over, whenever it is over, it might be said of us, "Their life was lived to the fullest."
God bless you, Annie, and watch over your husband and children. Thank you for being in our lives.

Vanity

I was watching a few movies this weekend while my parents were out of town [it was actually quite a lot] and I realized something. If we look back at my previous post, I talked about finding the person who is right for you forever and not settling for the moment. I forgot to mention that keeping that love, that marriage working takes more than being perfect for each other and being together for the right reasons. It takes selflessness and the desire to work every day, among other things. Just getting the people and the place right does not mean happily ever after.
The first movie I'll mention was Vanity Fair. Becky Sharp was born poor, the daughter of an artist and a French opera singer. Hardly proper birth for the time. But she was determined to move up in the world. She became a governess to a moderately wealthy family and fell in love with the second son, who nearly worshipped her. They married and were disinherited by the family for her background. But they had love and each other, and Becky's determination to rise up from their surroundings. Unfortunately, that determination was not as much for her family as for herself. Through her near-desperation, she ruins her marriage and her life, losing her husband because he can't stand to live with her further for the pain and losing her son because she is deemed not fit to raise him. Ultimately, she does become famous...but not in the way that she had desired. Her vanity and pride ruined what could have been a wonderful marriage and life as a family, and she ended up alone.
The second movie was Gone With The Wind. Scarlett O'Hara is desperately in love with Ashley Wilkes, and it does not matter to her that he is engaged, for she knows that she is the woman he truly loves. She hates his fiance, though she is a wonderful, kind woman. As the Civil War approaches, Ashley is going to leave to fight, and in a desperate attempt to make him jealous, she marries his new brother-in-law. Charles dies quickly in the war, and Scarlett is forced to mourn him. She resents the restrictions placed on her, and thrives on attention. As the war ends, her family home and fortune are in ruins and her family nearly starves. In order to save her home, she marries her sister's intended, takes over his business and becomes even more hardened and embittered against ever being poor and hungry again. Her second husband dies as he defends her honor, and she quickly remarries the man who has loved her the whole time, the dashing Rhett Butler. But Scarlett still is selfish and spoiled and cannot see the love from her husband or the love she has for him because of her blindness until it is too late. He leaves her at the end, and when she asks him what she is to do, what is to become of her, he gives her the immortal words, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."
Vanity was the downfall of what could have been. The inability to think of others or to see beyond their own nose destroyed lives and loves and marriages. How many stories in reality are like this? How many lives and loves and marriages have been ruined because someone lost sight of what mattered, because they forgot about the whole picture and only saw the part?
This life is a journey and yes, it is our own, but that does not mean we must do it alone. We should not do it alone. We cannot. And the more we try, the further behind we will fall.

What really matters?

I was reading a book a few months ago, where the hero and heroine began their acquaintence fighting. It was her independence matched against his arrogance, her curiosity against his privacy, her life of laughter against his life of misery. So why were they matched together? Why were two opposites supposed to be the perfect fit? By all accounts, it should have been ludicrous. They had absolutely nothing in common, not a single thing. He was a weathly, lonely spy who sincerely hated his life. She was a fine lady, who hated the propriety forced upon her. Not exactly an ideal match.
Yet, when he was literally ordered to spend time with her, he found her lightness, her wit and spirit and laughter, to be exactly the cure he needed for his dreary life. And his hidden depths mystified her, and slowly, very slowly, I can assure you, they found passion and love and joy in each other. Naturally, there was the physical element of attraction as well, but that's besides the point.
But here's what I am getting at. When he proposed to her, or rather, when he asked her father for her hand, he said this: "I love your daughter, sir, and I like her very much as well."
That struck me and I put my book down and stared out at nothing. He loved her, but he liked her. Some people might find that redundant or stupid.
I find that the most romantic thing he could have said.
Years ago, a woman my parents knew told them that she always gave this advice to young men she knew: "When you get married, make sure that you honestly, genuinely like this girl as a person. If you don't, when hard times come, when the fights come,"[here she always added "and they will"], "it will be rather difficult to remember that you love each other when you don't even like each other."
I've always remembered that. And I think it is a very important truth. Too often in these days, I think that women look for love and passion and gratification. They look for someone for the time being.
Why are we selling ourselves short? Why not search for someone who enjoys being with us? Someone who knows what will make us laugh and go to extraordinary ends to see that we do. Someone who we are friends with, who lets us cry when we need to and won't freak out, who will be totally stupid with us and not care, someone who understands us, even if only a little [give him a break, he is a man, after all, so we cannot expect omnipotence]. Why not enjoy an entire lifetime of being blissful instead of a few moments of happy?
Don't get me wrong, I am a huge spokesperson for love. Real, true, deep, and abiding love, the kind that poets write about. I believe that settling for mediocre shouldn't happen, that no woman should give up on dreams. But love needs to be founded in the right way. Not in looks or body types, [though I also insist that physical attraction is important], but in the personality, in the way they treat us, in the person they are underneath everything exterior.
For example, anyone who knows Jane Austen knows Sense and Sensibility. Let us look back to Colonel Brandon and Willoughby. Willoughby was the handsomer man, young and muscular, while Colonel Brandon was an older man, who had seen and felt much. Yet in character, Willoughby was a monster, and Colonel Brandon was kind, gentle, and caring. Marianne fell for the same foolish trick that the rest of women do, vying for the attentions of the more attractive man while ignoring the other.
Now, I know that physical beauty is important, and I am a bit picky myself in looks, but all I'm saying is that looks are not the most important thing. Nor is the passion we may feel with someone the most important.
What really matters? That a man be more interested in who we are than in what we are. And that we do him the same courtesy.

There's a Map for That...

I know you have all been dying to hear about my wedding extravaganza and wondering what has taken me so long. I can hear you all now...."What has she been doing??? I mean, for cryin' out loud, it is TUESDAY, almost WEDNESDAY. I can't sleep until I hear everything!!!"
Well, my dears, let me explain.... No, there is too much. Let me sum up:
There was a wedding. I went. There was a reception. I came home. I went to reception #2. I came home. The end.

No? Ok, I'll bite. (Although it really is too much...)
Wednesday I drove to Cincy to stay the night with the groom's family. I was riding to DC with them and we were leaving at dark thirty. So I see George spreading papers all over the kitchen table. And I mean ALL OVER. And I, being without pretenses, said, with my natural eloquence, "Holy Crap!" And then I looked closely....they were maps. Lots and lots of maps. His explanation? "This is how we engineers do things."

Well, that worked for me. Thursday at dark thirty on the dot we left for our humongously long trek. Thanks to George, I not only had directions, but a lot of detailed maps! Every leg of the journey was mapped out. This made my job as Navigator of Car #2 very nice. The drive was actually fun, I am still surprised to admit. Amazing what good company [and a little caffiene] can do for roadtrips! We got to DC and all vowed never to enter an automobile again [which, sadly, did not last long], and went to Hotel #1. [There were four that various parties were staying in. I was at #4] Other members of the groom's family arrived, bringing with them the most adorable children ever created [my own niece excepted. she is the most of all. duh.] After a very exciting dinner at a mall, a journey to miraculously find a white shirt someone forgot [I almost got a badge of honor for that one], and a rousing game of musical cars, I got to my hotel at 9:30ish. I think that was the earliest anyone actually got to their places, as a meeting with the bride's parents, a trip to the airport, and yet more musical cars games were going on with other wedding party members.
Friday dawned early. What can I say, I am a female and we pull out all the stops when it matters most. I woke 2 hours before I had to meet anyone. I showered, and waited, then dried my hair, put product in, and waited, then straightened, then waited, then makeup. Maybe I should explain a few things here: my hair is awful. If I blow dry too soon, it will frizz out of control. If I straighten too soon after drying, it won't last. So yes, the waiting was important. And I am not a huge makeup person, but I went all out. Hey, it's a wedding. ANYWAY, then I went to breakfast with the other people in Hotel #4 and we ate [delicately for me...I had my reception dress to think about], then left for the wedding. We didn't have to pick up the people from Hotel #3 as previously planned, so we went straight to the ceremony. The white shirt was delivered, the bride and groom arrived, and still I had no children to watch... Nerves were flying. The group from Hotel #2 HAD to be on time for the ceremony!!! Then I got a call that they were running late and I should meet them with the other sitters in the front. So when a silver van screeched into a parking spot and four beleaguered wedding party members spilled out, waved 'hi' and 'bye' in the same wave, and ran inside, I was ready and jumped in the driver's seat. A nice little jaunt took place, for which there WAS NO MAP, terrifyingly enough, and when all children had woken, we went back and waited.

Me with Child #3. SO CUTE!

Child #2 with her uncle, Brother #5

Child #1, playing hide and seek.

Soon enough, the deed was done, and the picture taking could commence. We'll skip the part about the crappy fit of the tuxes and how only two of the boys had ones that fit [honestly, why take measurements when they aren't going to cut them right, I'll never know]. There was much bribery for keeping smiles and pretending we all still liked each other amidst heat and sweat and blisters, and the children were worse. Luckily, the photographers were efficient and we all got to leave...except for my friends, the bride and groom. Oh, no, they couldn't go. I wonder why I even like weddings....They had the longest, hottest, most tiring day ever! But they were good sports and it got done. Then we had a luncheon....it was fabulous. One of our friends had the good fortune to spill marinara on his only white shirt, and so another run to the mall was made. Lucky it wasn't one of the tuxed guys. Then there was more picture taking at the bride's house and, to quote myself, HOLY CRAP. Never in my whole life have I been to a house I coveted to this extreme. I played with the babies most of this time, and enjoyed it IMMENSELY. Then I made a quick stop [thanks peeps at Hotel #4] to change into my FA-ABULOUS outfit [yes, it fit perfectly!!! no more diet!] for the reception at the Ritz, as seen below. Yes, you read that right. Ritz. As in Carlton. Jealous? I walk in and a waiter with a tray asked me if I wanted sparkling water. Oh, the night was good. It proceeded as most receptions do, the bride and groom came, danced, smiled, looked happy and in love and made the whole room jealous that we were not they...the servers asking if we wanted more beef Wellington or crab cakes...the dessert bar....Ah, receptions are great. Once we had tossed rose petals on the bride and groom as they made their escape for their pre-honeymoon [they didn't leave for Jamaica until today], we ourselves went back to the hotels and slept, our feet throbbing under the bed covers.
Saturday was not as early, but there was a fire alarm at Hotel #4. That was great. Yeah, no. But it was over, there was no fire, so I could check out in peace and get back into the car, far more crowded on this trip than the last, and spend 9 hours entertaining the greatest 3 year old ever. We went through a LOT of DVDs. But we giggled too. Construction traffic slowed us a bit [which was odd, as no construction was occuring] but we DID make it back to Cincy. I was not about to head back home after that, so I bunked out on a couch....after staying up until 2:30 with Lori watching Steel Magnolias and waiting for car #2, whose passengers had done a bit of sight-seeing in DC before leaving.

Sunday I came home...and crashed on the couch, watching Out of Africa and Princess Bride. I slept, fitfully, got up the next morning and worked a bit, then got in the car with Mom and drove BACK to Cincy for the last reception. The food was good, the company better, and my friends, the bride and groom, still looked happy and in love. If after all of this they can manage to do that, I have very high hopes indeed.

I know why I love weddings. It reminds me that even though this world is going to the toilets, love and eternity are still important to us. It's a crazy time making it all work, but at the end of it, when the rose petals are settled, the garters thrown, and the last beef wellington consumed, everything, even those nasty blisters and exhausting roadtrips, everything was worth it.

And I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

I'M AN AUNT!!!

That's right, folks! My lovely sister-in-law Erin delievered a healthy baby girl yesterday at 12:53. She was 7 lbs 8 oz, about 20 inches long, and she has a LOT of adorable strawberry blonde hair. Erin and Baby Carly are doing well and I cannot wait to see her in person, but that will have to wait until next weekend because I have a wedding to go to and other babies to play with. But my little Carly is the most beautiful baby in the whole world and I don't care who argues with me. I win.

This is the best picture I have at the moment. Isn't she beautiful???

Thanks, Erin, for blessing our family with this little girl. AHHHHH, I can't wait to hold her! Aunt Becky is gonna be the favorite, mark my words!

This just in...

The situation has been resolved. I am going to the wedding, and at a really great price, and we're currently on the hunt for my outfit!!!

Oh, and I'm back in the writing field. Major renovations are occuring, and then I'll share more. Have a fabulous day!

Grrrrrrr

I have decided that money is stupid. I want to go to a friend's wedding and unless some miracle occurs, I can't go. Problem is I have known this friend since I was 3. And I met his finace a few months ago and we've grown really close too so it's like 2 awesome friends marrying each other and I might not be able to go. Yeah, ok, so there's a reception in Cincy a few days later, but that's not the same thing ESPECIALLY when the bride specifically asked me to come to the wedding and the other reception that night. But you know, DC is not the cheapest place to travel to. And I happen to be excessively poor.
Anyway, I have decided that to make me feel better, I'm going to post a bit of my writing on here and let whoever the heck still reads my blog hash at it and tell me what gives. I may do this for a while, but it's my blog, so I can. And I have an idea for a fun little challenge coming up...assuming people still read this....
We'll start off gently with a prologue. Now, the key here is to catch the reader's attention and make them want to keep reading. If I fail at that, then it doesn't work for the story and must be revised. So your job, reader, is to let me know.
Here we go:
Staffordshire, June 1803
Andrew Birkham had never really put much stock into stars.
Oh, he enjoyed gazing at them and finding constellations well enough, but as to the wishing upon them and believing they held some sort of enchantment, he was all skepticism.
But the summer of his sixteenth year, something changed his opinion only slightly, just enough to make the stars seem a little magical after all.
That something was Rebecca Dumate.
She was the cheeky scamp who lived at Marshall Hall, a mere three miles from his family’s newly purchased Benbridge estate. He met her at the dinner party hosted by her parents, but did not really notice her until they, along with their respective brothers, had begged out of the boring conversations to follow the meal and escaped to explore the night sky.
Little Rebecca had situated herself at the very end of the row of blankets and immediately commenced in her own explorations, ignoring what anyone else was doing and, apparently, perfectly content in her own thoughts.
From the little he knew about the eleven year old, he suspected she was most likely imagining all sorts of girlish nonsense. All else he knew was that she was wickedly fast and that she could be quite the hellion, if her brothers could be believed.
But something about the way her bright eyes scanned the sky so eagerly, the small smile that played on her face, and the sprinkling of freckles across the bridge of her nose enchanted him a little. He moved to take the blanket next to her, to which she had no reaction.
“And what thoughts occupy your mind so completely, Miss Rebecca?” he asked quietly, turning his head to look at her.
She jumped slightly and looked up at him with wide eyes. Then she bit her lip and lowered them in embarrassment. “I—I was trying to find a star to wish upon.”
He knew it. And yet, for the first time, it did not seem quite so ridiculous.
“Don’t be such a girl, Rebecca!” her brother Edward chortled from the other side of him.
Andrew felt the odd desire to punch his new friend when he caught the flash of hurt that crossed the girl’s face. Could her own brother not see what she was feeling?
Then her other brother proposed a constellation challenge and all was apparently forgotten as she returned her attention to the task at hand with enthusiasm.
But Andrew was not so easily distracted. When the time came to return to the house, something compelled him to pull the girl aside.
“Pick out your star, Rebecca,” he urged gently.
She beamed up at him, warming his heart slightly, and turned to find one. Quickly she pointed at a bright one in the southern sky. He bent down to her level and peered at it, nodding thoughtfully.
“Very good. Now, you must wish upon it whenever you can, but you must never tell the wish, or else it cannot come true.” Wasn’t that the proper wishing etiquette? He sincerely hoped so, he did not want to make a fool of himself in front of this charming child.
But Rebecca nodded obediently and relief washed over him. He grinned down at her, then ran to join the boys in the house. He’d remember that star and should he ever notice it again, perhaps he would think about the little girl and wonder what her wishes were and if they were coming true.
If Andrew Birkham had, however, noticed the expression on young Rebecca Dumate’s face as he departed, he might not have been so keen as to wonder about the content of her wishes.
Indeed, he would not have had to wonder at all.

Hope and Inspiration

Well, today felt like a really long day, even though compared to a lot of people it probably wasn't. I had four massages, which isn't a lot at all, but when you're out of practice like I am, that many can be draining. I am starting to feel very overwhelmed and burdened down by all of the things I have yet to do and what is ahead of me, and all of those wonderful things that accompany entering the adult and business world. I have been depressed and discouraged and mostly unwilling to face what I have to. It's not been pretty or fun and I know I've been a wretch with my family, but I couldn't seem to find my way out of it.

But amidst my massages today, I caught sight of a show my sisters were sort of watching on TV. America's Got Talent.

Now, I had seen all the youtube videos on Paul Potts and Susan Boyle and that adorable six year old from awhile ago on Britain's Got Talent, but I can honestly say that I never cared about the talent America had. Must be the die-hard Brit that pretends to live within me. Yeah, America's got talent, but most of it's crap. And I never understood how Sharon Osbourne and David Hasselhoff were qualified to identify talent, but that's another deal.

But today, I got a breather from this show and what a message it was to me. Watch this video of Lawrence Beaman. He's a delivery guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5Mg7MUxIbI

Absolutely amazing. I had chills all over the place. I was literally transfixed, staring at the tv in the living room, hand to my heart, mouth gaping.

And I couldn't get it out of my mind. So, being the curious, must-know being that I am, I wanted to watch it again online. I went to the nbc website, watched it, then something ELSE caught my eye. Another story that I want to share with you all. It changed my attitude entirely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDRsxMMqAEU

I love what she says there: When you have hope, you keep going. I didn't have any, and that was the problem. Just because my life now isn't what I had planned doesn't mean that it's going to be awful. I can still do all those things that I've dreamed of doing. It just might take a little more time.

And that's ok...finally.

Thank heaven for moments of inspiration.

Ok, time for the rundown

Hi y'all.
Remember me? Prolly not, but that's ok. It's my own fault. Life has been crazy with me trying to get everything done that I needed to and now that I have time to breathe, I can fill everyone in.
Since passing my exam, I have been filling out lots of paperwork trying to get licensed in Indiana and getting my scores set and setting up my business so that I can have an income and eventually move to my own place and be independent again. It's slow, which is frustrating, and it makes me anxious, which isn't good, but there is not much I can do about that.
I needed a break, and so I went for a little jaunt to St. Louis to visit my college roomie Steph and her family and it was AWESOME. A touch hot and mroe than a touch humid, but we had a great time and it was just the vacay I needed. I went to the zoo, the art museum, a few bookstores, the City Museum [a MUST for anyone going there...it's a playground for big kids!], the Arch, and two movies, not to mention the fabulous array of foods I partook of. Ah, it was bliss, and suffice it to say, I was not excited to come back home.
But my sister Sarah is here for a bit, working church summer camps and generally making us all a little crazier, which is so much fun! Then last week, my brother and his VERY pregnant wife came up for the 4th and Erin's baby shower, so we had whole family here for a few days. Wow, did this house get small quickly. We used to all fit, I swear. We played games, went shopping, felt the baby hiccup...and then the shower came on Friday. Wow, did Erin ever SCORE! Some of our family came down from Chi-town and we laughed A LOT. Good times, good times. I can't wait to be an aunt.
And since Erin is so far along, we couldn't really go anywhere for a fireworks show, and honestly, none of us wanted to. But lucky us, our neighbors got together with some other people in the next neighborhood over and shot off some totally CRAZY fieworks right there next to us so we got a show on our deck for free! It was so COOL. Best fireworks ever, hands down. I almost wrote them a check.
Now the house is quiet again. Jen swims at Nationals tomorrow and Wed with a shot at the World Champ team, so who knows what's coming next.
As for me, I'm still trying to find my place around here. I haven't written in ages[very sad, I know, but I haven't lost anything...I hope...], mostly because I don't feel like I can just sit and do it. I feel like I have to actively be doing something, but there is nothing to do. I feel assured that things will work out, I just don't know when or how...
And THAT is what terrfies the heck out of me.

Sorry

Sorry, guys, things have been nutty and I have not had the time to catch everyone up on my life. And I don't have the time now either...
So, here's what I'll do. I will promise that before July 7th, you will all know exactly what I've been doing since my last post and I will even throw in some pictures. I can promise no earlier dates because my family is all going to be together [YAY!!!] for the 4th and so obviously, I will not be spending my precious family time blogging...I don't think....

Love to you all, and I'll chat as soon as I can breathe again!

IT'S OVER!!!!

I am now taking in a HUGE breath, and then letting it all out in an even BIGGER sigh of relief. This morning I was in Terre Haute, Indiana [not one of the world's most exotic places, but my hotel bed was heavenly] taking the National Certification Exam for Therapeutic Massage and Bodywork. No pressure or anything, I just had to pass this puppy in order to have my job. Failing would require either retaking, or finding yet another new career. I have been so nervous the past three days and freaking myself out about the whole thing.
Last night, before going to bed, I turned on the TV and watched the tail end of Rocky Balboa...that's a good movie, people. There was a line in there that I kept repeating to myself all morning: "It's not how hard you can hit, it's how hard you can get hit and get back up." Well, I'd been hit pretty hard over the past year or so, metaphorically speaking [don't want any of you thinking I suffer under abuse of any kind...], and so I just said, "Ok, Beck, get back up."
Well,......... I did.
Let me say that a little clearer:
I DID IT!
I PASSED!
I'M NATIONALLY CERTIFIED!!!
---------------
Didja get that, people? Yeah, I'm a little excited. More than a little relieved. It's been a long road, and it will probably continue to be long and more than a little slow at the beginning, but that's the way it goes.
AND the Penguins won the Stanley Cup. Seriously, awesome week.

Now I'll have time to get back to my true love.....WRITING!!!! Oh, I've missed it. And don't worry, I'll share little bits with you all. I know you've been anxious for it, too....
And if you haven't been, humor me.

Come November, Come

I don't usually get excited for that particular month this early in the year, though I do enjoy November for varying reasons. For one, the beginning is usually gloriously colorful out here in the Mid-west, and even in Utah, before it snowed all the time, the mountainside looked heavenly in its autumn rainbow shades. Secondly, it gets cold. Odd, I know, but I LOVE the cold. Siblings, stop laughing. I said cold, not freezing in snow with poorly insulated gloves. I love bundling up and snuggling with blankets and feeling that the tip of your nose is starting to tingle. Not freezing through to the very slight amount of bone there, for that joy belongs to January, which just might be a godforsaken month, but that slight nip. Thirdly, thanks to number 2, it is a perfect month for my hot chocolate addiction to rear its lovely head. Yes, this is a good thing. Fourthly, Thanksgiving. Lots of food, dessert, naps, and laughing. What else is there? Oh yeah, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. I watch it every year. I love it. And then that night we watch Scrooge, and suddenly it's Christmas time!!!

Yes, November is a glorious month normally.

But I want it here now.

Why, you ask?

Well I'll tell you.

[Shuddering sigh] This just made my day. And the trailer I saw on youtube yesterday made my day. And this also made my day:

But I may save this splendor for tomorrow, so it can make that day too.

Yes, I love Twilight. I do, I can't help it and I am not ashamed of it. I am not one of those crazy teens who dreams of marrying Edward Cullen [tho it does sound kinda fun], and I don't go to those crazy release parties [or if I do, it's RIGHT when it ends so I can get the book and go]. Why, to show my devotion to that final book, I got a concussion.

True story.

But I loved the first movie. Yes, it was different than the book, but guess what? Most movies are. They are a director's interpretation of that book, so deal with it. If you want to see the book, go get one. Besides, they had enough in it that it could still be called loyal and I adored the artistic vibe coming from it. How you could just feel the awkward moments because of camera shots and music or lack thereof. How you could see different points of view in brief moments with the same skill. LOVE. True artistry. And I think the actors are well chosen and fabulous.

So yes, I am DYING to see New Moon. So much emotional turmoil and heartbreak and loneliness and danger and undying love and torment....totally my kinda thing. I'll bring an entire box of Kleenex to go with my large popcorn, large drink, and candy on opening night.

And you know what? I'm ok with slight changes, should they be made. I'm ok with cheesy lines and funky camera shots and music. I'm ok with the vampires and the werewolves and the human girl who seems to annoy most everybody else [and sometimes she seems a little too like me, if you know what I mean].

Because it's a movie about a book that I love. It is not the book. It is the movie.

My name is Becky and I like Twilight.

A lot.

[You should really watch the trailer on youtube...NOW!]

Graduation Day

And there was MUCH rejoicing. MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCHO rejoicing. We're talking heavenly choirs WITH the heavenly orchestra.
Oh yeah, it's big.
I don't know how many of you ever knew how trying this experience has been for me, and I won't go into any details because IT'S OVER!!!! and it doesn't really matter at this point, but it was been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through for a number of reasons. I had just failed my athletic training exam [a few times] and wasn't even sure what I was supposed to be doing with my life, but this seemed like a good option so I went with it. Needless to say, I have had some really interesting experiences with fellow students and teachers and other people that I came in contact with [if this were a private blog, you would know a WHOLE lot more...let's just say it was immediately evident that I weren't in Utah no more, Toto...]. I can safely say that I am so happy and relieved to be able to put all of this behind me and move on to my own career, which looks to be promising already.
To answer those questions that I know are burning in your minds:
1) No, we aren't wearing cap and gowns
2) No, we aren't marching to Pomp and Circumstance
3) Yes, it is in a hotel conference room
4) Yes, most of the graduates will be drunk before, during, and/or after the ceremony
5) Oh yeah, and some of the teachers, too
6) No, I am not going to graduation parties. I prefer to spend time with my own moderately sane family, thanks
7) State boards are in a week and a half in Columbus and should be really interesting, as I hear the program final I just took is harder
8) National Boards come sometime soon, I won't know until I actually get my application in, which I can't do until tomorrow
9) Yes, I am moving back to Lafayette, IN soon after state boards and living with my parents until I can afford a place of my own
10) No, you cannot have a free massage. Now that I'm done, you all must pay......
[If, however, you wish to pay in means other than US currency, we might be able to work out something...]

So, after I finish work today, I am GRADUATING....AGAIN! Hopefully, this is the last time, but I really cannot promise that at this point. I'll keep you all informed as things develop.

Oh, and assuming something rather hilarious or embarrassing or noteworthy or shocking happens tonight (which it might), you'll all hear about it, I promise. [Bites lip in apprehension] I really need to get out of this place. Toodles!

A swift kick in the pants

There is something so very grating and relieving [yes, quite at the same time] about someone shoving something into your face and then, after you've seen it, smacking you over the head with it. In my case, it was a few people from unexpected quarters. One was my sister, who never fails to listen to my tearful pathetic completely emotional breakdowns and then making me laugh about how pathetic my stupid emotional breakdown is, but only after she has expressed concern for my imgained situation and vowed to fix it herself. Who is the older sister? I forget more and more every day.
Then I watched a movie that I really REALLY wanted to see when it was in the theater, but I missed it, which really made me angry, as it was filmed in London the same time I was there. But, during my aforementioned pathetic and emotional breakdown, I bought it since it was just released. Last Chance Harvey. I watched it today and boy oh boy did I relate, in my own self-pitying way to Dustin Hoffman's character. But by the end of the movie, I found that I was quite a different character. I've always wanted to be Emma Thompson, and for the first time, I finally was. I saw myself in her in so many ways, and in all of the wrong ones. And I realized that my breakdown, which was brought on by NUMEROUS things, I'll have everyone know, was really just me forgetting that with all of the expectations and plans and worries and fears, I also have to live. I have forgotten to live.
Then there was the unexpected twist of hearing from some friends that literally would not let me be the pitiful excuse for a person I've tried to be. Bless you, friends, for slapping me with reason and belief and helping me to see the light again. What was the straw that broke the camel's back is now the layer of hay and bits covering the muddy patch that I step over on my way to other things.
And while I may have my pathetic breakdowns, as I surely will, I know that I will always have people to turn to who will buoy me up and help me to stand so that I can learn to walk again.
Now I have to go write to Emma Thompson, as I don't believe she follows this blog on a regular basis...

Hmmm...

Today I recieved the scores from a romance writing contest that I entered back in November in which I did not final. Looking at the scores now, I can see that I was not even close. Here's how it worked: I sent five partial manuscripts to the contest and one full manuscript, which would only be read if I finaled. Five judges would rate the partial [along with the synopsis] from 1 to 10, with 10 being 'totally amazing, ought to be published now' and 1 being 'why are you a writer, not good enough for toilet seat covers'. Now granted, the ratings are subjective according to the judge's taste, but in general, they are a standard to go by.
My scores: 2.5, 7, 5.5, 5.5, and 8.
What does that mean? No clue.
But here's my thing: I love this story. It's my second one and in my opinion, it was the best written one that I'd done. I actually thought that I might have a chance at this, but, silly Becky, nobody in today's world wants to read sentimental drivel that has no pointless fornication scene depicted in descriptive, unmistakeable terms. Why should you think that something so PG would be something people would like?
Well...because it is. For every five people that love the racey stuff, I seem to find one that doesn't. Too bad none of those people are the ones who can get me published, but whatever. I won't deny that it was a brutal crushing blow to see that 2.5 score. I thought there had been some mistake, that couldn't be MY book they were talking about on here. My book is funny and witty and makes you happy and something I am terribly proud of. Kubler Ross Stage of Grief 1: Denial. Check.
Then I thought all sorts of evil, mean, vicious thoughts about that judge who gave me that score. What does she know, she wouldn't know a good romance if it slapped her in the face with a 2 by 4. I didn't want her to read my book anyway. Stage of grief 2: Anger. Check.
Then I thought that she must have misunderstood it. Maybe I should contact the people at the contest and explain why I wrote the way I did, why it was so clean in such a dirty world, then surely she would get it. Stage 3: Bargaining. Got it. [this stage came and went really fast...]
Then I was depressed. I admit it. I cried. Course, I am a crier, so this isn't such a big deal. But I was really hurt. If I was this awful, why was I doing this? Nobody had wanted my manuscript before, why would they now? People want hotter and flashier, there's no place for clean, innocent, romantic fun. Stage 4: Depression. Oh yeah.
Still waiting to get to the next stage. It's Acceptance. Yeah...dunno if that will come for a bit. But I am starting to kick myself for caring so much about what that one judge thought. I mean, I couldn't TOTALLY suck if I got a 7 and an 8, right? Yeah, the 5.5s are kinda "well, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't Nora Roberts", but two people liked it. That's more than my average mentioned above, right? And the sad thing is that there are no comments attached with this report, so I have no idea WHY anyone thought the way they did. Maybe if I did then I could accept all of this easier. But who can I find to help me figure out what to do? I need someone who not only knows what they are talking about and can get me where I want to go, but they have to believe in me and in my stories. Dunno where I'll find one of those.
But for someone like me who is a hopeless romantic, I'm just left wondering what their idea of romance is if mine is just not good enough.

Ode to the Birthday Boy-Man

Twas on this day a mere 26 years ago [which I think is one score and six years....] that my big brother came into the world. He was a month early, the little booger, but he was certainly loud enough to be on time. So I've heard, at least. But from what we, the family historians, can gather, he was also a rather pleasant child. Why, even his own parents, years after the boy had left the house and moved onto living his own, upon seeing a family documentary were heard to say, "He was such a great kid."

And it is assumed his sisters will agree. Naturally, he was the perfect example. What do you do on a sunny day? Play catch, play roller hockey, run around the house until your legs collapse. What do you do when you are bored and watching television? Sit on top of the nearest sibling while jabbing a finger into their armpit. What do you do when a sibling annoys you? Take the waistband of their pants and stretch them to the top of their earlobes. Necessities of life that might not have ever been bestowed upon the poor girls.

But besides the necessities, there was also the little things that made life better. For instance, where is the best place to hide a beanie baby? Under the toilet seat. What is the best way to eat chocolate chip cookie dough? With your finger after Mom isn't looking. What is the very first word a baby should learn to say? Hiking, undoubtedly.

Honestly, where would this world be without little red shorts and ghostbuster guns and inane questions about cameras and wrestling in the front room and barf dip and YAHR and throwing nacho doritos onto perfectly good peanut butter sandwiches??? I myself am shuddering at the thought.

And now he is a man. (Well, not just now, he has been one for some time, but you get the point.) One with his own family, a wife and a child on the way...and another generation will learn what we have been blessed to: that youth is all in the mind, and fun is for all ages.

And in my vast experience, one is never too old for birthdays or too young to reminisce.

So, a happy blessed birthday to you, dear older brother who has given us so much. May your underwear always be clean and your sister never push you ever again.

Such a happy child...

He still won't share food willingly...

The famous Ghost Buster gun...his favorite.

Terrors of the cul-de-sac...

Favorite vacation ever.

Dad always said to be mature...too bad we never thought to listen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHRIS! LOVE YOU LOTS!!!

And for those of you who do not understand this post, that will be your loss.

Ahh, Fridays....

Actually, Fridays aren't all that special anymore. I don't have school, it's true, but most days of the week I don't have school. And I say a very big prayer of thanks for that one.
But since I usually have something on Saturdays, it's really not a huge break. And if I don't have something on Saturday, chances are I am working. They didn't always schedule me for the weekends. In fact, they rarely did. But something must have happened in the inner cogworks of M******* Inc, because since February, every single Saturday that I have not requested off, they have me work. And not just my usual part time shift. It's always a huge flippin long shift at the most inconvenient time. For example, last week: I worked my usual MWF with Friday being an absurdly long 7 hour shift (typically, they don't schedule me for more than 6 as I am part time and working 3 days a week for 6 hours keeps me under 20) and then that Saturday they had me on from 10:30 t0 7. Yes, 10:30 am to 7 pm. At a craft store. 8 hours and 30 minutes. Oh, fine...it was only an 8 hour shift because I have to clock out for my 30 minute lunch. But besides that, it was the longest shift they could possibly give me. NO ONE can work more than 8 hours (managers excluded, they have no choice). Someone actually laughed at me. "You're coming in right from breakfast and you won't leave until after dinner!" Yes, haha, very funny....sorry, was that my hand getting in the way of your face? How rude, bad hand. It was the single longest day of my life, especially since I had only left that place 13 hours before coming in again.
Anyway, the point: Friday is just another day usually.
The only time it is actually FRIDAY is when I have my OVRWA meetings. Then it's PARTY DAY!!! because I know that I get to focus on writing that weekend. Ah, bliss...
Like tomorrow. I have a meeting with a certain editor from a certain publishing company and I, along with the rest of the chapter sign ups, get 3 minutes to pitch my novel to her and convince her that I am SOOOOOO work taking a chance on.
Am I nervous?
~
-
~
Yes.

I am terrified.
So what am I going to do? I'm going upstairs to watch a movie to forget about it for 3 hours before I come back down here and FREAK OUT at Penelope (my laptop...yes, I named it. Don't judge me.) until I fall asleep at the desk and probably miss the appointment because I over slept.
Ahh, Fridays....