Short story time.

Ok, I'm going to give in to my rather selfish side and post the short story that I think I am going to turn in for my final project in my Creative Writing class. This is a work I have already turned in but reworked with an additional 250 words. The first draft my teacher LOVED and said it was my best work to date. So here's my new and hopefully improved version of Day is Done, Gone the Sun:
Departed. Yes, that was one way to put it. Jeff was departed. Not deployed, not overseas, and most definitely not away.
Departed. Gone. Passed.
Dead.
Riley leaned against the sturdy oak and watched the proceedings silently, far from the white tent the rest of them were under, his black wool coat and the chill matching his mood. He saw the flag draped over the coffin, a sort of grotesque reminder of the so-called “honorable” way Jeff had died.
“He saved the lives of many with his sacrifice,” the chaplain was saying. “He will be forever honored and revered for his service by those who love him.”
Did he even know Jeff? How did this guy know what the rest of them would feel?
Riley could almost hear Jeff’s voice again, just as he had seven months ago before deployment. Jeff had thrown aside his parents’ warnings and called Riley to say good-bye. If he’d known it was the last time he’d hear his little brother’s voice, he might have been nicer. As it was, he’d never forget what Jeff said.
“I know you don’t agree with what I’m doing, Riley, or with this war in general. But I want to serve my country. I feel privileged to do so. I want to see to it that others don’t have to live in fear.”
The thing was, Jeff had sounded like he actually meant it. He did mean it.
Riley jumped as he heard the commanding officer yelling at the seven men in uniform. Boys, really, by the look of them. No older than Jeff had been when he’d joined up.
Bang! Riley closed his eyes, wishing he couldn’t hear a thing.
He remembered the message his father had left on his machine three days ago.
Bang!
“Riley, it’s Dad. I know you said never to call here again, but I thought you should know….Jeff’s been killed.”
Bang!
“The funeral is in three days at St. Boniface. I just thought you should know.”
And here he was.
The poignant sounds of a bugle filled the air, the haunting “Taps” that he’d dreaded hearing turning him colder. It made Riley wish he could cover his ears and block it out.
He opened his eyes to see his father helping his mother up, watched as she cried into his chest as they walked away. He almost wished he could go with them, talk to them again, be a part of the family again. But it had been too long. Some wounds went too deep. Some memories unforgivable.
It had been nine years since he had seen them. Nine years of blatantly ignoring Christmas cards and birthday cards and birth announcements. He’d not voluntarily spoken to any of them since Jeff’s wedding. And even then he’d yelled at his father, insulted his mother, and spent the entire evening making passes at bridesmaids.
He wondered if his parents knew that his parole had ended two years ago, if they knew he’d completed rehab and been sober for a year, or if they knew he’d kept a solid job for eight months and was up for a promotion. Did they know? Would they even care?
Probably not.
His eyes wandered back to the coffin. Laura was kneeling there with the kids, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at Jeff’s picture.
The brothers were so close in looks, people had always said, but so different in everything else.
He shifted his gaze to the kids, whom he’d only seen in pictures. Jackson looked so much like Jeff at age 6 that it shocked Riley and he swallowed hard. Aimee was a miniature Laura with her blonde curls tucked under her fashionable black hat. She had a worn out teddy bear in her arms, clutching it around the neck.
Laura stood slowly and took Jackson’s hand as he bravely saluted the coffin. Aimee trotted forward and placed the bear on the flowers in front of the headstone, then took Laura’s other hand and the three of them walked down the hill to the limo.
Riley’s eyes slowly slid back to the headstone. Compelled by a force he didn’t understand, he walked over and knelt before it, unsure what he was going to say or do, the damp grass soaking his pants. His fingers came in contact with the bear Aimee had placed and he picked it up.
It was Jeff’s old bear. The one Riley had stolen countless times and thrown into the dirtiest mess he could find. The one Jeff had protected fiercely, even when Riley had teased him about it.
Riley ran his hands over the tattered bear with a shaky laugh that quickly turned into something else.
Jeff’s voice was back in his head, the last words he’d said to him. “I love you, bro.”
Riley had only been half listening at the time. “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he’d said over the din of his friends watching the Colts game.
But did Jeff know? Had he known what Riley really felt?
He closed his eyes now, embarrassed by the tears, by the memories. “I love you too, Jeff,” he whispered, clutching the bear tightly in one hand while the other covered his face.
He heard light footsteps and turned. There was little Aimee, her blue eyes wide and staring. She looked at the bear he was holding, then back down the hill where the family waited, then back at him.
After a long moment, her little hand reached forward and, without hesitation, grabbed two of his fingers and pulled with all her three-year-old strength. Curious, Riley got to his feet and walked with her, letting her lead. She smiled up at him brightly and continued to pull him down the hill to meet the awaiting family.
No one said a word. Then his father smiled and pulled him close, Riley still holding Aimee’s hand.

I hope you all like it, and if you have any suggestions, by all means, tell me. It's due in two weeks, so you've got time! I know it's not very funny and you all like me cuz I'm funny, but there are times when seriousness is better. I'll make you laugh tomorrow, I promise. Happy weekend!