My darling friend Cecily, whom I met first during BYU Sports and Dance Camps and then was fortunate enough to be in company with my entire time in England posted this amazing thing on her blog called the Single Good Girl's (and Guy's) Bill of Rights. I was so impressed with it that I had to post a second time on here today. I hope you don't mind, Cec, as I did say it was you who engineered this awesomeness. But seriously, single people (and you married people too) take notes!!
A Single Good Girl's (and Guy's) Bill of Rights:
1) If you are a good person, you deserve a GOOD person. If the man/woman you are interested treats you badly, they are NOT good enough for you. Do not waste time with a person that does not treat you the way a son or daughter of God should be treated. Do not put up with belittling, maliciousness, manipulation, or guilt from the person you are dating. This is wrong.
2) In relation to #1, remember that there are many, many good men/women out there who will treat you much better. Have faith in the Lord and Move On. Trust that the Lord will bless you with a good, righteous relationship.
3) Communication is a must. You must be able to communicate problems and differences and be willing to sort them out afterwards. Every good young man/woman deserves effective communication in any kind of relationship. Do not immaturely give the cold shoulder and think "He knows why I'm mad, he should say sorry to me at once". He probably doesn't know what you're mad about, he's a Man!
4) Girls, every good man deserves a good woman. Just because it is "that time of the month" does not give you the excuse that you can treat everyone in your life like dirt (family and friends alike). Be a good person all of the time. It's okay to be emotional, but realize before you get angry why you're getting angry. And guys, don't put up with emotional girls. If they treat you like dirt 1 week out of every month, that will be a very very very long relationship, and marriage. Date girls that have a grip on themselves and can practice self-control (a very good quality to have in a marriage). And worse, my own personal pet peeve, girls just shouldn't date estrogen-filled guys. That should be biologically impossible . . .
5) Sorry, I got on a rant. #5 is that every good guy and girl deserve a selfless partner. This is the #1 reason that couples today get a divorce--selfishness. Work on being a selfless person, sacrificing your desires for the good of others, and you will in turn attract selfless people. If you work on being selfless in finances, communication, and relationships with family and friends, you will have a wonderful life and hopefully find the spouse of your dreams.
6) We each deserve someone willing to work. A good man that is willing to work and be productive will make a great marriage partner. A good girl is not going to be spending hours and hours everyday watching TV, looking at Facebook, or writing blogs, but is going to spend her time doing homework and cultivating herself. We need to be wary that we don't let idleness seap into our lives.
7) A potential spouse will encompass all of the qualities listed above because he loves the Lord. He will want to be a good boyfriend, fiance, husband and father because he loves the Lord and loves you. A good wife will put the Lord first in her life above all else, and will put her marriage to you second on the list. A good relationship will not work if Heavenly Father is not included in the triangle.
I think there was more, but that was all we get for now!! Fantastic, isn't it???
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Hi
I'm alive, I am well, and most of the time, I am exhausted. My job is great, but long days. My school is the same, but long days. I finished the first edit of my second book to get it out of the way so that I can use all of my brain power for....THE EXAM.
Yes, you read that right. THE exam. The one I have failed twice. I am defying sanity and taking it for a third time. I will need all of your prayers, good wishes, birthday wishes, wishing well wishes, eyelash wishes, and 11:11 wishes to help me pass!
Ooops, time to go study again!
Yes, you read that right. THE exam. The one I have failed twice. I am defying sanity and taking it for a third time. I will need all of your prayers, good wishes, birthday wishes, wishing well wishes, eyelash wishes, and 11:11 wishes to help me pass!
Ooops, time to go study again!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Ouch....
I hope that you all haven't been feeling neglected by my lack of updates. I've been so insanely busy that I don't even know what day it is. I started my new job at Michaels on Wednesday, so I've been working 6 hour shifts and getting training and filling out paper work, etc. I had school on Thursday, then worked again on Friday, and then Friday night I went up to Waynesville, Ohio to help my good pal Lorrie Monn with her booth for the Sauerkraut Festival. It's this really cute craft fair, which, of course, includes tons of sauerkraut [smells awful], but there's a lot of other foods and fun stuff. Lorrie's business, Mistletoe Memories, makes Christmas ornaments that we then personalize to the customer's specificaitions. It was tons of fun, but I worked 12 hours on Saturday, on my feet the entire time, and then 11 hours on Sunday. THEN I went in to work today (didn't have to go in until 3, so I at least got to sleep in) and was on my feet for another 6 hours. Currently, my feet are propped up on the desk and I can feel them throb. It is times like these, as I told my new friend Alex [she worked with us at the Festival] when a husband would come in handy. Footrubs, shoulder rubs, comments about how amazing and hardworking I am, etc, etc, etc. I could use any or all of that at this time, but I'll settle for now with the reminder that I made a ton of money in one long, exhausting weekend.
I have to go to bed now, because I have a full day of school tomorrow! My goodness, I think I AM amazing...
I have to go to bed now, because I have a full day of school tomorrow! My goodness, I think I AM amazing...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
My Heart Is Overflowing
There is nothing else I can think of but that to describe the feelings that encompass me at this very moment. I cannot restrain the tears that are running down my face and I am not sure that I want to. I feel as though my heart could very well fly out of my chest and into the sky, though what it would do there, I have no idea. Today has been a day of miracles for me, though I have not seen anything out of the ordinary nor done anything that would merit that high standard. But God is merciful and marvelous, and I cannot help but share with you the feelings that are bursting from my soul.
These past few months have been the most trying of my life. I would venture to say that the loss of my brother when I was twelve could not compare with the pains I have felt. I knew that Andrew was with Timmy and that God would protect them and keep them, and that they had a work to do beyond my mortal scope. I knew it. It did not lessen the pain, but it softened the mourning and relieved the despair. A few months after this, I moved away from the only home I could remember to a brand new place, one that was unfamiliar and, at my age, unfriendly. For the first time, I was uncertain of myself and what would happen to me. It was rough and I suffered much, but trust in the Lord and in my family got me through.
But since graduating college, things have been different. I have been completely on my own and even more uncertain of myself than ever before. I trusted in the Lord but I felt that He did not trust in me. This was a dangerous feeling to have and I knew it. But such is my emotional nature that I felt it anyway. I was in my own personal Gethsemane, unable to have the help of the Lord and unable to change a thing. I knew He had his reasons for sending me through the trials that He had, but I could not see any light to guide my way. I had failed my boards twice, the test that would prove my college experience worthwhile, which led me to the belief that I had made the wrong decisions with regards to my education. I felt that I must be out of tune with my spirit, that whatever the Lord had been trying to tell me I had not heard because I had made myself deaf, and now He had stopped speaking to me. I was left in a place that used to be a home, wondering if I was in the right place, wondering if I had blindly pushed forward into something that was wrong for me. I didn't know where to go, what to do, or in whom to confide. How could I confess to anyone that I was feeling weak and abandoned? I have always been strong, and this collapse was mortifying. All I knew was that I had to keep going because there was no other way to go and if I wanted the Lord to speak to me again, I had to play the game His way. It IS His game, after all.
Well, after the amazing Women's Conference last weekend, a conversation with a man so close to the Lord that he knew I needed something special, and a therapeutic home visit and blessing from my father, things began to look up. I was happier, I was more optimisitic, and I began to feel again. And then I turned in a random application, immediately had an interview, and two days later I recieved a part time job that met all of my set requirements. And today at General Conference, I recieved a deep and abiding testimony that Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet, that he recieves revelation for us directly from the Lord, and that he is the man to lead this church. Then tonight I watched "Emma Smith: My Story" and I heard a line that I don't know if the real Emma actually said, but I like it anyway. "Strength is not something we are born with. Strength is something that we find." And suddenly I realized that I could do whatever the Lord expected of me. If Emma could make it through so much, then I could at least battle through the murky waters that had begun to swirl around me. As soon as I came to that decision, I felt a wash of something so strong that tears poured out of my eyes like a river, and since I am a messy crier, the nose started to run also, and as I am just getting over a cold, it was not a pretty sight. But it didn't matter. I knew in my heart that whatever the Lord had in store for me, this experience would shape me for it. I was reminded from the movie of the scripture in D&C from Liberty jail: " My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high. ...Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I knew that was my answer, too. So, after the movie was finished, and I cleaned myself up, I came downstairs to my room, determined to write a blog about this. But something told me to check my brother and sister-in-law's blog first. Erin, I love you even more for what you said on Friday. She quoted Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and as soon as I read it, I burst into my frantic, messy tears again. It was the rest of my answer. "First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him."
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and believes in me. I know that He knows me, knows what I want and need, and what I can handle. That is what He was trying to tell me: that I have within me strength I didn't know about. Somehow, I had found the strength to come through without losing my faith or myself. And beyond that, I can see more clearly my path laid out before me. I have no idea where it will lead, but the path is His trail for me, and if I stay on it, nothing can prevent me from attaining what He has in store for me.
And that will give me the strength I need to continue on.
These past few months have been the most trying of my life. I would venture to say that the loss of my brother when I was twelve could not compare with the pains I have felt. I knew that Andrew was with Timmy and that God would protect them and keep them, and that they had a work to do beyond my mortal scope. I knew it. It did not lessen the pain, but it softened the mourning and relieved the despair. A few months after this, I moved away from the only home I could remember to a brand new place, one that was unfamiliar and, at my age, unfriendly. For the first time, I was uncertain of myself and what would happen to me. It was rough and I suffered much, but trust in the Lord and in my family got me through.
But since graduating college, things have been different. I have been completely on my own and even more uncertain of myself than ever before. I trusted in the Lord but I felt that He did not trust in me. This was a dangerous feeling to have and I knew it. But such is my emotional nature that I felt it anyway. I was in my own personal Gethsemane, unable to have the help of the Lord and unable to change a thing. I knew He had his reasons for sending me through the trials that He had, but I could not see any light to guide my way. I had failed my boards twice, the test that would prove my college experience worthwhile, which led me to the belief that I had made the wrong decisions with regards to my education. I felt that I must be out of tune with my spirit, that whatever the Lord had been trying to tell me I had not heard because I had made myself deaf, and now He had stopped speaking to me. I was left in a place that used to be a home, wondering if I was in the right place, wondering if I had blindly pushed forward into something that was wrong for me. I didn't know where to go, what to do, or in whom to confide. How could I confess to anyone that I was feeling weak and abandoned? I have always been strong, and this collapse was mortifying. All I knew was that I had to keep going because there was no other way to go and if I wanted the Lord to speak to me again, I had to play the game His way. It IS His game, after all.
Well, after the amazing Women's Conference last weekend, a conversation with a man so close to the Lord that he knew I needed something special, and a therapeutic home visit and blessing from my father, things began to look up. I was happier, I was more optimisitic, and I began to feel again. And then I turned in a random application, immediately had an interview, and two days later I recieved a part time job that met all of my set requirements. And today at General Conference, I recieved a deep and abiding testimony that Thomas S. Monson is God's prophet, that he recieves revelation for us directly from the Lord, and that he is the man to lead this church. Then tonight I watched "Emma Smith: My Story" and I heard a line that I don't know if the real Emma actually said, but I like it anyway. "Strength is not something we are born with. Strength is something that we find." And suddenly I realized that I could do whatever the Lord expected of me. If Emma could make it through so much, then I could at least battle through the murky waters that had begun to swirl around me. As soon as I came to that decision, I felt a wash of something so strong that tears poured out of my eyes like a river, and since I am a messy crier, the nose started to run also, and as I am just getting over a cold, it was not a pretty sight. But it didn't matter. I knew in my heart that whatever the Lord had in store for me, this experience would shape me for it. I was reminded from the movie of the scripture in D&C from Liberty jail: " My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high. ...Know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I knew that was my answer, too. So, after the movie was finished, and I cleaned myself up, I came downstairs to my room, determined to write a blog about this. But something told me to check my brother and sister-in-law's blog first. Erin, I love you even more for what you said on Friday. She quoted Elder Jeffrey R. Holland and as soon as I read it, I burst into my frantic, messy tears again. It was the rest of my answer. "First of all, I want you to be proud you are a woman. I want you to feel the reality of what that means, to know who you truly are. You are literally a spirit daughter of heavenly parents with a divine nature and an eternal destiny. That surpassing truth should be fixed deep in your soul and be fundamental to every decision you make as you grow into mature womanhood. There could never be a greater authentication of your dignity, your worth, your privileges, and your promise. Your Father in Heaven knows your name and knows your circumstance. He hears your prayers. He knows your hopes and dreams, including your fears and frustrations. And He knows what you can become through faith in Him."
I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and believes in me. I know that He knows me, knows what I want and need, and what I can handle. That is what He was trying to tell me: that I have within me strength I didn't know about. Somehow, I had found the strength to come through without losing my faith or myself. And beyond that, I can see more clearly my path laid out before me. I have no idea where it will lead, but the path is His trail for me, and if I stay on it, nothing can prevent me from attaining what He has in store for me.
And that will give me the strength I need to continue on.
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