Castles in the Sky

Yesterday I met a woman who had everything I had ever wanted in life. She had a husband who was not only attractive (no, I was not checking him out, but a girl does notice these things) but thoughtful and playful. She had a few kids, all of whom were well behaved and beautiful, to boot. And she was so cute and fun and really just a great mom. I got to hold her 4 and a half month old baby girl for a very long time, and she had the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen and the most perfect lips. She was an absolutely beautiful baby and she smelled just like a perfect baby ought to. As I was holding her, the thought occured to me that had my life turned out differently, this could have been my life. I could have been the woman standing at the poolside chatting with friends holding her baby girl in her arms. Granted, I most likely would only have had the one, but still, holding that little girl in my arms, I could see it. I could see myself with the husband playing around with other kids in the pool while I held our beautiful baby girl in the shade, watching him with all the love in the world, shaking my head at his childish antics, wondering if I had married a boy or a man. I actually got teared up during all of this, wishing that it had been the way my life had gone. That little baby symoblized all I had ever wanted in life.
But my life isn't that way, and, though it pains me very much to admit it, that was not how it was supposed to be. My life is turning out just the way it is supposed to go, however that is. I may not like it now or understand it at this point, but the Lord works in mysterious ways, and it is not up to me to determine if it is right or wrong because He is in control. He knows what I want and what is best for me, and all I gotta say is He's never let me down before, so there must be a DANG good life waiting in the wings for me. I just gotta get there and not lose faith. I firmly believe that I will get all that I have been dreaming off since I was a little girl, complete with the handsome Prince Charming to sweep me off of my feet and dream of castles in the sky with me, and live happily ever after. I know that happily ever after is not something that just happens, but must be worked towards, and I am going to enjoy the adventure of the work.
But until then, I'll still remember with a bit of sadness what I saw yesterday of what I could have. I'll still get it, but that doesn't really stop me from wishing it could be sooner rather than later.