The other day I was working on a woman in the student massage clinic and I could tell right from the getgo that she would be chatty. I appreciate those clients, because then my massage goes SOOOO much faster to me. Anyway, we were talking and she goes, "Becky, how tall are you?" I smiled and told her, then she just nodded and sighed, closing her eyes. "You're pretty," she said softly. I froze mid-stroke. What had she just said? Nobody had ever told me I was pretty. Ever. I checked the mirror on the wall next to me and I looked exactly as I knew I did. I had already had four hours of school, and I never look well after that. My hair was a mess, I was in scrubs, and I was not wearing any sort of makeup whatsoever. I even had bags under my eyes. What could the poor dear have been thinking? I laughed awkwardly and said thank you and swiftly changed the subject.But inside I was thinking, "Really?" which was followed swiftly by, "Surely not. Me?" I have never thought of myself as pretty. I did know that I had pretty eyes, but no one ever noticed that (except for my dad last weekend, oddly enough). But me myself being pretty...no, that wasn't something I ever even dreamed of. I always WANTED someone to call me pretty, or beautiful, even, but that seemed a stretch. I knew that looks weren't important (it's kind of ingrained in us, isn't it?), but I still wanted some, you know?
What could be wrong with my personal mirror that doesn't allow me to see what this stranger did? Or was she just being polite? Yet there was no cause for her to be polite. My height does not insinuate a comment about my looks, so why did she say it?
Confucius said everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. I am inclined to believe it.
So over the days since then, I have caught myself looking in the mirror more often, trying to find out where she saw whatever she saw. But maybe it's like so many other things: if you look for it, you'll never see it. Is beauty like faith, just a matter of believing? "Seeing isn't believing, believing is seeing."
Or is that just for childish fairy tales? I cannot change what I am physically, I've always known it, no matter how I might have wished I could. But for the first time in my life, I am now wondering if I don't even have to wish to be different than I am, if looking as I do would be enough.
What are your mirrors telling you, and are they right?
2 comments:
I've always thought you were pretty. This post has inspired me to tell people more often when I think they look good. Because everyone needs that.
And so you don't think I'm just saying things, let me be more specific (hopefully it won't come out too weird): You are pretty because you're tall and thin, but curvy (the kind of body a lot of women would love to have). You are pretty because you have dark hair and pale-ish skin, which is always a stunning combination. You are pretty because you are smiling often. You have pretty eyes; I would encourage you to play them up with makeup whenever possible, you are right in recognizing them as one of your best features.
While obviously vanity is wrong, never feel guilty for simply thinking you look good. Embrace the way you look and work it. God gave you the body and face you have and woman is his most beautiful creation. Women who think they are beautiful look twice as good as women who don't just because of the way they present themselves.
Anyway, I'm probably talking too much...I just think you should know that you're pretty and love it.
Becky, you are very pretty - beautiful - inside AND out! The other comment sums up my thoughts exactly. Sometimes it is hard for us to believe what other people say, but that lady had no reason to tell you that, other than she thought it was true. I hope that you will start to see that more in yourself.
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