Valentine's day to a single person is rather like a weekend to someone who works them: rather pointless and bitterness enstilling. As if we in the single world neededd any further reminders that we are so. There are those who don't mind, who, in fact, use this day to celebrate their single-ness. I am not one of them. Valentine's day for me is traditionally spent on a couch with Ben and Jerry and other forms of food not typically seen in a health professional's house, a rather large stack of movies destined to make me cry or sigh or both, and a box of Kleenex to assist in the results of the former. Sweats are a must on Valentine's day, as is chocolate chip cookie dough. Guilt never follows. This is one day to let myself go and feel pathetic. I love it.
Why, you may ask, would I put myself through this year after year? Why not simply ignore the day altogether? Because, my friends, as has been observed, mentioned, and no doubt laughed about, I am a romantic. I endure this day with my traditions so that I may never forget what my goal is. I am determined to have the sort of love that people write about (ironically enough), the sort of life people envy, and the sort of Valentine's day that I can only dream of. Some may say that it is only a day. I say it is THE day. Celebrating love is something that should be done more often. Have we ever stopped to think about how lucky we are to have something to look forward to for this day? And even the more lucky if we already have it?
The movie of today's Valentine's cryfest was The Duchess, a rather odd pick for a romantic movie when the romance in it is heartbreaking and nothing but torment and frustration. But I realized by the end, that it was the perfect pick for the occasion. Georgiana was not free to love, it was not permitted. Her husband did not love her. She married with the hopes that he might, but it never came. When she found love, she was not free to pursue it. Her life was a vacant emptiness, devoid of the feelings she so desired. She could not choose love.
I feel inordinately blessed that when the time comes, I will be free to choose that. I will know the emotions she was forbidden and will be able to spend my life continuing to know them. I can choose love. I am free to have the choice. Love may be my guide, even as it could not be hers.
I darenot say all you need is love, for that smacks of the slightly ridiculous and trite. But regardless of what circumstances we find ourselves in, however our lives unfold, may we take a little time to appreciate the love that we get to have, that we get to choose. The world is a lonely place for those without it. Romance and love should not be confined to a day alone. Take the time to express it often, to show the one you love that you truly do not because everybody else is doing it, but because you want to. Because you want them to know.
I write romance. I do so because I believe in it. I believe in Valentine's day. And for a single, tear-prone, hopeless romantic toting around a large half-eaten bag of peanut M&M's, the hope of a someday is enough.
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2 comments:
i tell you what......when you can shoot a gun from the comfort of your living room (and totally NOT aim for the neighbor's dog), go four-wheeling through snow and puddles, and acres of beautiful mud, followed by the experience of scalping movie tickets 3 feet from the box office, and then start your own band when you realize that you truly are a guitar hero.......who needs a man?! there! I said it! I had the best valentine's day ever and didn't have a man! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaha [taper off into maniacal giggling] it CAN be done!!!!.......wow. that felt really good. i feel like i've made a breakthrough in group therapy.
and yes......i do realize that i am one of "those" people. while i mourn the loss of finding out what first, second, and heaven help me third base is, there are also moments where i want to scream at the top of my lungs "my GOSH! it's great to be single."
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